Better Men: 5 Personality Traits that are often overlooked
A few traits to practice in your life to be a better Father, son, brother, friend, and business person
Our culture, in modern America, has many values. Some good, some bad, some irrelevant. However, we have lost sight of some of the most important aspects of our culture over time. Here are 5 traits that will both make your life better, and allow you to see the world in a better light.
1) Self Discipline
We are often told to follow our heart, to live in the moment, or to go with the wind. Self-discipline stands in opposition to that but can be the difference between success and failure, happiness and despair, and hope or powerlessness. Self-discipline is the ability to control one’s feelings and overcome one’s weaknesses; the ability to pursue what one thinks is right despite temptations to abandon it. It is easy to go from thing to thing, idea to idea without sticking to what is right. Speaking of which…
2) Righteousness
Now I am not talking about going to church here, though in many cases that can help with this one. Righteousness is living up to a moral code that causes you to do good instead of what you want to do. It means that you will stick with a greater sense of good instead of bending to the will of those around you. It comes from God and does not come from humanity. It is the code of rules we as humans all recognize, though some of us learn to reject through time, which is the following:
Treat others as you would want to be treated
Don’t steal
Don’t kill
Honor your father and mother
Don’t covet your neighbor’s goods
Don’t commit adultery
Don’t bear false witness against another
It’s the universal code of moral laws that all religions follow because it comes from something that was given to us by God and continues to live deep inside of us. Call it evolution, tribe preservation, or whatever you’d like. I know that it comes from God, who created the universe and humanity but either way it is what allows us, humans, to function in society without completely falling apart. This is a lost trait that many contemporary humans need to learn as it will settle many problems that we have in society as a whole. This leads to our next point.
3) Patience
We all know what patience is but we rarely adhere to it as a characteristic. Patience allows us to deal with the hardships of life and persevere through them. It gives us a better attitude against those who anger us. It allows us to listen and be more thoughtful with the things we hear. Instead of reacting emotionally, we are able to use patience to learn to absorb and sift through the things that we experience in life without getting overworked. It allows us to avoid situations of conflict, avoid making mistakes, and save us a lot of regrets. It is something that gives us peace.
4) Reason
A characteristic of reason means we do not take on identities that are not truly us. In reality and contrary to popular belief our identity is not tied to our skin color, our gender, or our sexuality but rather is connected to God and our humanity. It is connected to our grander place in the universe. Reason allows us to take in all that life offers, reflect on it, and parse out how it affects us and our lives without reacting emotionally. It allows us to understand how we feel, why we feel the way we do, and how to defend what we believe. It gives us the grit, knowledge, and understanding to walk confidently in this world without worrying about what is projected, told, or forced upon us, and allows us to respond in that confidence. Reason allows us to process the new without worrying. This leads us to the final trait.
5) Confidence
Confidence in who you are, in what you believe, and why you believe it will allow you to avoid trials, overcome obstacles, and stand up in against opposition. Confidence comes from the first 4 traits we talked about but also comes from God. The more you know your place in the universe, what you believe, and why you believe it the more confident you will be. This does not mean being arrogant, or rude but rather that you are unafraid of standing up for what is right, unafraid of what others may think, and unafraid of having your ideas challenged. It makes it so you don’t panic, aren’t anxious, and gives you the courage to speak the truth even when it is unpopular.
These 5 traits are things I try to amplify in my life, they are things I practice and while I am not perfect at any when I am mindful of them I am happier, freer, and get angry less. They are not easy to do but they are worth it. Let me know what you think about these, are there any traits I missed that you believe outshine these?